1.  “Can we love each other more?”

“Do you want to?”

“Of course I do.”

“How do we do that?”

“We have to stop thinking that the other person is always going to be here.”

“I never thought that…”

“Well, I did.”

2.  When I was nineteen I sat on a beach sometime in the early hours of the morning when it was still dark out with a woman of indeterminate age who told me about her life with her husband and two children.  I think for the most part I kept nodding off a bit, letting her words filter in and out with the static of the waves, or maybe I was crying silently—the memory is thin and full of mostly feelings and few images—but the part I remember most, right down to the specific tone and cadence of her voice:  “He has been really difficult.  My whole life with him has been so difficult.  But I’ve always had everything I wanted.”  And then she smiled at me and I felt sick and sad and lonelier than I had before she came to sit beside me.

3.  I’ve got this idea, like you might be brilliant or hidden really deep, enmeshed by Responsibility A, Responsibility B, and so on and so forth—driving at something, but what?  Want to jump and kick and maybe bite you a little while you’re asleep. Some sort of problem with latent aggression in order to express sentimentality.  Comes bubbling up sometimes.

4.  I don’t trust in my ability to separate fact from fiction anymore.  Have constant moments where I seemingly stare at/through some inanimate object and think, “Was that a dream?  Did we have that conversation?”  I can’t think of anything worse than mundane interactions while I’m asleep and while I’m awake. 

5. Right Brain/Left Brain/All Brain/Contradictions Inherent: